Are you saying you made a promise to someone and backed your promise with earnest money and now you want to break your promise after the builder started holding up his end of the bargain? Why don't you go to the builder and be up front about your desires and try to work a new deal with them before they get too far into the contruction. Maybe they would be willing to renegotiate or find a different buyer. If you're honest with them, they would probably not be willing to proceed any further if they know you are not going to be able to perform on your obligations. But their investment so far warrants their keeping the earnest money as I see it unless they have not kept their word.