Hi Robin, first off a couple of questions. One, is the stain "purely" a stain, or is it a stain/sealer in one? Two, how long did you let the stain soak into the maple before wiping off the residue? The longer it's allowed to penetrate the wood the darker the result, if it was a stain and sealer then there might be problems with the second/third/etc. coats penetrating the first coat.
Now, I'm by no criteria a finishing expert... but I do know one that would be happy to offer his insight and help. His name (handle) is "Henry in MI" (most poster's here probably remember him from years ago), and you can reach him through my website WicksWWW. Just post in the forum there or look at Henry's Corner located at the bottom of the homepage.
My personal thoughts regarding sanding down and starting over again, is sorry to say but that probably would be the best idea. If it were me (after a recent similar situation) I'd get down to just the wood, then take one of the chairs that show the color you're looking for and head to the local Sherwin Williams and have them do a color match for you. Definetly be sure that they understand that the table is maple and the chair is not.