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the best solution ever!!

Posted by mick the stench killer on February 10th, 2000 06:33 AM
In reply to nasty cat vomit by michele on October 20th, 1999 07:48 PM [Go to top of thread]

o.k. you say your rug is still fragrant (to say the least) but not after I give you the best step by step instructions you will ever see.

1: take 2 raw eggs + crack 'em into a bowl
2: cook how ever you desire and eat (you can't go into this on an empty stomach)
3: on the full moon kill seven chickens
4: drain the blood of the chickens into a large bowl
5: drown your cat in bowl while chanting "oomalaka, oomalaka, fruntookileywamma"
6: let soak for 10 mins on low heat
7: stir in parseley, carrots, no wait... wrong step by step instructions
8: remove cat from bowl and move to a clean cutting board
9: make a lateral incision on cats belly and remove all internal organs
10: add organs to bowl of blood and knead thoroughly with hands
11: fasion cats skin into a hat (IMPORTANT: DO NOT REMOVE CAT'S SKULL!!)
12: while wearing hat with skull facing east drink contents of bowland quickly run to vomit stain
13: if everything works out right you should feel quite sick, add your vomit to the rug
14: stand on stain and proclaim loudly: "this is the worst way to get rid of vomit stench i have ever heard of!"
15: feel like a fool and buy some Roger's Vomit Stench Remover and a bottle of vodka.
16: use the Roger's, drink vodka and think about how much you miss your cat.

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