It sounds like a lot of water is coming in to the drainage system - for a new home to collect that much water .... ?? Some homes don't even have sump pumps. They're used to pump out water that gets around the foundation - so it sounds like you have a lot of water around your foundation. Is that common in SF? Ask your neighbors both next door and across town if their pumps work that much.
+Are you at the bottom of a big hill?
As for the outlet pipe - it's typical that a sump pump contractor would only go as far as getting the water out of the house. He/she probably doesn't consider it part of the job to take care of the water once it's outside. Can you glue a PVC pipe extension on to the outlet pipe and nest it inside the drain pipe?