Hi, Roger. Realistically, you cannot get a stainless steel look without the metal being stainless steel. Stainless steel is an alloy containing relatively large amounts of chrome and nickel. The only way to realistically get the brushed look is to start out with steel sheets that have been brushed before they are formed. Sorry, but the low carbon steel that your cabinets are made of will just never look like stainless and I don't know of any way to faux paint to look like stainless. Stainless steel costs about 3 times as much as carbon steel and you can expect items made of stainless to hold to this ratio.
There have been several posts on this board from people having steel cabinets for sale or also wanting to buy. You might also check architectural salvage dealers.