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If those solutions don't work, try these...

Posted by Jim -ATS on April 11th, 2000 04:18 PM
In reply to Squeaky floors by Jon on April 11th, 2000 03:09 PM [Go to top of thread]

Top 10 solutions for squeaky floors...

(or, you won't hear them any more if you do this...)

10. Music on Hold...
9. Make your own blended drinks (the blender is loud, and the alcohol makes it so you won't care...)
8. Toilet paper (for the ears)
7. Tear the carpet up and go after those things with a screw gun.
6. Drill a small hole through the floor in each bay and fill all of them with expanding foam.
5. Dig a 2' deep hole in the front yard, insert a post. Nail a piece of plywood on it, and paint the words "For Sale, Cheap!"
4. Learn the joys of being a landlord and rent the place out.
3. Buy a puppy. It will take your mind off it.
2. Buy a Dolby Digital Home Theater with DVD. At 600 watts, who cares what sounds the house is making.
1. Rent a Ryder truck and fill it full of fertilizer and gasoline, drive it into the garage and set a timer. Claim it on the homeowner's insurance....

These suggestions are totally ficticious, and should not be followed (with the exception of maybe the dog and the toilet paper) under any circumstances. I take no responsibility for any person actually following this particular post's advice.

Hope you liked it anyway. Off to work.


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