6 Years ago, when the wife and I were looking for a home, we did look at 2 homes with pools. 1 Home was out of our price range, so we told the Realtor we liked the place but didn't like the pool. Later on, she said the Owners wouldn't budge $25,000.
The 2nd home had a pool that was in very poor shape. Again, we told this Realtor we like the home but didn't like the pool. The Owners came back and said, "Fine, we'll make the pool a planter but we're not taking off $15,000!" We could have bought EITHER home for the difference in price that I mentioned but neigher would 'throw out' the pool. I just think the 2nd Owner had an interesting perspective.
FWIW, around here, every town has a Community Swim Club. And for about $300, give or take, a family of 4 can have unlimited access and use of the facility. Of course, nothing is private but there's plenty of room (since they're Private 'clubs', they charge a Fee, AND they can control the number of Members.) The only thing you really can't do is bring in booze. (But as we all know, that's a 'liability' around any pool, private or not ...)
It's not that having a pool in my 'area' causes a loss-of-value - It's just that it's hard to 'add value' with the Community Pools we have. As most people think around here (us too), having a pool would be a nice-to-have. But I'll tell ya, personally, the maintenance is not what I'd be into. I guess if my wife stayed home and I had 3+ kids and I could afford all that, I'd certainly get a house w/a pool. Ya know, my wife swam for the club (as did another sibling out of 4 in total) until she was 18 years old. I swam for my club until I was 16. Swim Meets are big deals around here. Literally, my backyard fence (where I grew up) was up against the Club property. My Mom use to YELL our names from the kitchen window! Jesus Cristos, you could hear her clear across town! (Oooooh, the good ol' days ...)