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Chicken Coop...

Posted by Larry on July 14th, 2000 03:29 PM
In reply to Thank goodness, your departure is temporary ... by Martha on July 13th, 2000 08:45 AM [Go to top of thread]

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> Chicken Coop by TheLibrarian on 10/02/2009

It is estimated that 24000 chickens are killed, injured and maimed every year from ceramic tiles breaking loose from the coop's ceiling and falling on their heads. The sad part is that these deaths are preventable. Shoddy tile installations account for the vast majority of these incidences. So much so that Colonel Sanders, president of the Chicken Related Affairs Program (CRAP) has instituted a worldwide campaign to educate chicken raisers like yourself in the do's and don'ts of chicken coop construction techniques. Here are some pointers he shared with me:

FACT: Blue colored tiles are NOT recommended for installation. Chickens mistake the color for the sky and break their necks in attempts to fly out. In fact, the same behavior has been observed when the tiles are installed on the foundation.

FACT: Red and orange colored tiles cause hens to lay eggs at abnormally accelerated rates, resulting in extreme mood swings, even psychosis in some. More than one hen has been observed hurriedly strutting up and voluntarily laying their neck out the cutting block. Do not let this happen to you.

FACT: Alternating patterns of tile are known to dramatically heighten the intelligence of chickens and this has resulted in bizarre behavior- even escapes. In one instance a chicken was accused of having a farmer confined to a mental hospital before authorities uncovered the mistake. The chicken was subsequently condemned to death.

I hope I was able to help you in some way. For additional information on proper chicken coup construction including step by step instructions you can write:

Attn: Mamma Sanders
Hog Heaven Trailer Park, Lot# 912
Redneck City, KY 90210

Now will somebody let me in on this whole Martha-Bob thing:)

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